I filled our tarago up today. It cost me $92 people. $92 bloody dollars. The car payment for the bloody thing is only $95 a week! A full tank of fuel will be lucky to last me a week, and I wouldn't say I do any excess driving. I drive to work and back (25kms each way) up to 4 times a week, and to netball training (40kms each way) and netball (40-50kms each way) a week. Every now and then we might make a trip to visit a friend or go to the city (200 kms return trip)
So with that said, I am wondering if we should be seriously considering moving to the town we work in (20 minutes away) to reduce fuel costs and car costs. We HAVE to have one car, Craig drives for a living so there is no avoiding that. But having two lots of car costs is shaping up to a VERY expensive gig. I would estimate it costs us anywhere between $150-200 a week to run both cars (maitenance included) luckily we do have an allowance for Craigs car but to keep a long story short and as uncomplicated as possible, we would have more $$ if we had less running costs.
But we have a small 72K mortgage. Our house needs work, and lots of it, and we live in an area where you could overcapitalise pretty easily, but if we had 30-40K to spend on the place we would probably get our money back.
So my dilemma is this. Do we move to the town we work in? But increase our mortgage by double at least or double and a bit? But then we both work in the same town, cut out commuting time, and travelling costs (would still have to travel to netball) But at least then we could walk anywhere in the town we needed too. Doctors, chemist, playgroups, kinder, etc? I have access to playgroup in the town I live in, and that's about it. We have a pub, a post office, a butcher, and a shop, and a school(primary only), oh and believe it or not, an art gallery LOL!
Do we do it now before fuel prices absolutely sky rocket AND before houses skyrocket more than they already have?
We have lived in this town before and we were a little unhappy, although I think that was because of the house we were living in, and the landlords we had. If it was our own house maybe it would have been different?
Has anyone got any suggestions to help poor indecisive me out? Please?
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Building a garden with a purpose?
So today we got in and dug up the weed patch. Yes it was a veggie patch at some point, and we do still have yellow zucchinis growing in there, AND some pumpkins!.
Now we just need to get some seedlings to plan. I really want to get some of the diggers seedlings, the heirloom variety. I am so not interested in buying the ones that have been modified so that they only can grow once, and you can't save any seeds, what a joke!
Also in Tassie, this time of year you can't grow a hell of a lot. It seems we can plant onions, broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage. We already have more silverbeet than you can poke a stick at, but I really don't know what to do with it all? We worked so hard I have blister on my hand. (Either I'm overworked, or I'm precious, I tend to think the latter!)
I only have to work 15 hours this week, so I should be able to get out in the garden a fair bit and turn it into something special. See we have never had a garden. And to be honest I'm not really into 'pretty' gardens, they have to have a purpose, I don't see the point in having a heap of pretty roses, when all they do is please your aesthetics, I need a garden that will feed us, will nourish us. There are a few plants I am going to have to grow. Boronia and Jasmine for a start, they just have the nicest scents, and make me feel all happy and hippy when I smell them.
So if anyone has any idea of how to plant a garden (not veggie garden) that serves a purpose, AND looks nice, I'd be greatful to hear about it.
Now we just need to get some seedlings to plan. I really want to get some of the diggers seedlings, the heirloom variety. I am so not interested in buying the ones that have been modified so that they only can grow once, and you can't save any seeds, what a joke!
Also in Tassie, this time of year you can't grow a hell of a lot. It seems we can plant onions, broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage. We already have more silverbeet than you can poke a stick at, but I really don't know what to do with it all? We worked so hard I have blister on my hand. (Either I'm overworked, or I'm precious, I tend to think the latter!)
I only have to work 15 hours this week, so I should be able to get out in the garden a fair bit and turn it into something special. See we have never had a garden. And to be honest I'm not really into 'pretty' gardens, they have to have a purpose, I don't see the point in having a heap of pretty roses, when all they do is please your aesthetics, I need a garden that will feed us, will nourish us. There are a few plants I am going to have to grow. Boronia and Jasmine for a start, they just have the nicest scents, and make me feel all happy and hippy when I smell them.
So if anyone has any idea of how to plant a garden (not veggie garden) that serves a purpose, AND looks nice, I'd be greatful to hear about it.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Commit to 3 things
Discussions on peak pil and food shortages have had me thinking for the last few days. When will it happen? Will it just creep up on us or will be see it coming? Will our everyday food items become so expensive that they will be out of our reach and not within our budget? Will we begin to see staples like potato as a necessary to fill our empty bellies?
As each day passes I feel more and more committed to doing something longterm both for my family and the environment. So I am going to set myself 3 goals
1) Buy second hand more, and where possible. Pretty self explanatory really, you can ofton pick up great bargains when you shop around second hand.
2) Grow more of our own food. Again self explanatory. It's not that hard to whack a few seeds in the ground and water them.
3) Put more thought into purchases, both big and small. Large purchases I will endeavour to make them as environmentally friendly as possible. Smaller ones I will aim to make them second hand. I will think twice about spending money on what could otherwise be thought of as a 'live saving gadget' (You know, they type you JUST HAVE TO HAVE!)
So I challenge you, set your own 3 goals in an effort to preserve the environment. They don't have to be something major, just small things, but by bit, if we all commit it WILL make a difference :O)
As each day passes I feel more and more committed to doing something longterm both for my family and the environment. So I am going to set myself 3 goals
1) Buy second hand more, and where possible. Pretty self explanatory really, you can ofton pick up great bargains when you shop around second hand.
2) Grow more of our own food. Again self explanatory. It's not that hard to whack a few seeds in the ground and water them.
3) Put more thought into purchases, both big and small. Large purchases I will endeavour to make them as environmentally friendly as possible. Smaller ones I will aim to make them second hand. I will think twice about spending money on what could otherwise be thought of as a 'live saving gadget' (You know, they type you JUST HAVE TO HAVE!)
So I challenge you, set your own 3 goals in an effort to preserve the environment. They don't have to be something major, just small things, but by bit, if we all commit it WILL make a difference :O)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Chemical Pregnancy
I'm not pregnant, it was a chemical pregnancy.
I'm devastated, I felt pregnant, I hate TWO fucking tests tell me I was pregnant. i couldn't keep a secret and told people I was pregnant, and now I have to go and untell people. I feel like such a fucking dumbarse.
If I ever get pregnant again, I'm not telling anyone until I have a baby coming out of my vagina. Truth be told, I don't know if I can keep doing this. One early loss is devastating, I don't know if I could handle any more.
I'm so sad, and I am so numbing that pain with alcohol tonight,
I'm devastated, I felt pregnant, I hate TWO fucking tests tell me I was pregnant. i couldn't keep a secret and told people I was pregnant, and now I have to go and untell people. I feel like such a fucking dumbarse.
If I ever get pregnant again, I'm not telling anyone until I have a baby coming out of my vagina. Truth be told, I don't know if I can keep doing this. One early loss is devastating, I don't know if I could handle any more.
I'm so sad, and I am so numbing that pain with alcohol tonight,
Reflections of the last week
Things I can reflect on from the last week without a computer.
-Keep computer closed, son climbing on computer and wee'ing on it, is a very expensive $175 exercise. One that I do NOT want to participate in again.
-Getting a positive pregnancy test brought the biggest smile to my face for a whole week. Fancy being so blessed to fall pregnant within two months when you have PCOS.
-Starting to bleed Wednesday night. I never would have thought having an early miscarriage could be so fucking devastating. I feel fiercely protective of my baby, I want to keep you dammit, and heaven help anyone who calls it a foetus. It's in MY body therefore I'll call it what I want, and I reserve the right to break your nose if you call it otherwise.
-Waiting for HCG results sucks. Fancy having to wait two freakin days to find out if your pregnancy is still viable. Fuck I hate that word its so clinical and cold. I get the first results today, not that they will tell me much.
-Feeling like your gut feeling was right. Since before I got pregnant I had a bad feeling about this pregnancy, I didn't feel like it would have a positive outcome. I'm not holding onto much hope at the moment I must admit.
-Life without the computer for a week was pretty damn good. Can you believe I had withdrawels? I read a couple of good books (yes in a WEEK!) and feel all inspired and shit to do something with my life.
-Discovering (sort of) what peak oil is all about. Can we say HOLY SHIT BATMAN. I had never considered that oil was in so many of our everyday items. How are we going to cope without it? And why the hell are major coroporations allowed to rape our environment of its natural resources? Why why why do people take the ostrich approach? Why the heck aren't people interested in growing their own food and preserving the environment. Yes I am a hypocrite because we don't grow a lot, so fucking shoot me. I'm working on it.
-Remembering what it's like for me to be so indecisive. Two weeks ago we looked at a block up the bush, 16 acres of rainforest, with 2 cleared acres for offers over 50K. Sounded great until we realised we could only borrow 120K to build with. I don't think 120K is going to build us much, especially when the land needs to be levelled and yadda yadda.
Then not a week later we are looking at a house in 'the city' (far from it, but the cloest to the city out here) and we put in an offer that got rejected. The idea was that with fuel prices rising, it owuld be a good idea to be close to work, and all other amenities.
And well, now I have no bloody idea what I want to do. I change my mind daily, sometimes hourly, and always come up with these great plans, until I realise for some reason why they won't work out.
What the heck do I do next?
-Keep computer closed, son climbing on computer and wee'ing on it, is a very expensive $175 exercise. One that I do NOT want to participate in again.
-Getting a positive pregnancy test brought the biggest smile to my face for a whole week. Fancy being so blessed to fall pregnant within two months when you have PCOS.
-Starting to bleed Wednesday night. I never would have thought having an early miscarriage could be so fucking devastating. I feel fiercely protective of my baby, I want to keep you dammit, and heaven help anyone who calls it a foetus. It's in MY body therefore I'll call it what I want, and I reserve the right to break your nose if you call it otherwise.
-Waiting for HCG results sucks. Fancy having to wait two freakin days to find out if your pregnancy is still viable. Fuck I hate that word its so clinical and cold. I get the first results today, not that they will tell me much.
-Feeling like your gut feeling was right. Since before I got pregnant I had a bad feeling about this pregnancy, I didn't feel like it would have a positive outcome. I'm not holding onto much hope at the moment I must admit.
-Life without the computer for a week was pretty damn good. Can you believe I had withdrawels? I read a couple of good books (yes in a WEEK!) and feel all inspired and shit to do something with my life.
-Discovering (sort of) what peak oil is all about. Can we say HOLY SHIT BATMAN. I had never considered that oil was in so many of our everyday items. How are we going to cope without it? And why the hell are major coroporations allowed to rape our environment of its natural resources? Why why why do people take the ostrich approach? Why the heck aren't people interested in growing their own food and preserving the environment. Yes I am a hypocrite because we don't grow a lot, so fucking shoot me. I'm working on it.
-Remembering what it's like for me to be so indecisive. Two weeks ago we looked at a block up the bush, 16 acres of rainforest, with 2 cleared acres for offers over 50K. Sounded great until we realised we could only borrow 120K to build with. I don't think 120K is going to build us much, especially when the land needs to be levelled and yadda yadda.
Then not a week later we are looking at a house in 'the city' (far from it, but the cloest to the city out here) and we put in an offer that got rejected. The idea was that with fuel prices rising, it owuld be a good idea to be close to work, and all other amenities.
And well, now I have no bloody idea what I want to do. I change my mind daily, sometimes hourly, and always come up with these great plans, until I realise for some reason why they won't work out.
What the heck do I do next?
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Things I have realised
Things that I have learnt or realised this week.
(Today) I am missing out on my kids life. Something has to give, at the moment it's study. I'm deferring on Monday.
(Earlier this week) Just because spawn of the devil is 18 months old doesn't mean he will sleep through the night. And don't think that clinging onto age milestones helps. It doesn't.
That you learn to function on broken sleep, you don't get used to it.
That I am damn proud of me and Craig for not having killed each other due to the stress devil spawn has put on our relationship.
That stacking grocery shelves really sucks and is a mental drain on my few remaining brain cells.
That being a parent isn't as fun as it looks in the movies.
That money sucks, and as soon as we get our shit together I'm not working OR studying. I am going to be a SAHM and enjoy my kids before they are boisterous teenagers and I cannot remember a single thing about their childhood.
ALthough I do realise being a SAHM will bore me to tears, but it will be nice to have play dates, and be able to go to playgroup, and do some cooking and have some actual leisure time. My life feels like it's ALWAYS on fast forward and that sucks.
That I LOVE my new front loader Miele. Yes I paid $2000 for a washing machine, but the thing it so awesome I could breed with it! It uses like 52 litres of water instead of the 122 my old one uses. Can we say WOW. Can you imagine the difference that is going to make to our water usage?
That living in the fast lane isn't for me. I need to knock my life back to simple. Those changes are starting now. They will be small, so small an outsider wouldn't notice them, but I think they will make me happy.
(Today) I am missing out on my kids life. Something has to give, at the moment it's study. I'm deferring on Monday.
(Earlier this week) Just because spawn of the devil is 18 months old doesn't mean he will sleep through the night. And don't think that clinging onto age milestones helps. It doesn't.
That you learn to function on broken sleep, you don't get used to it.
That I am damn proud of me and Craig for not having killed each other due to the stress devil spawn has put on our relationship.
That stacking grocery shelves really sucks and is a mental drain on my few remaining brain cells.
That being a parent isn't as fun as it looks in the movies.
That money sucks, and as soon as we get our shit together I'm not working OR studying. I am going to be a SAHM and enjoy my kids before they are boisterous teenagers and I cannot remember a single thing about their childhood.
ALthough I do realise being a SAHM will bore me to tears, but it will be nice to have play dates, and be able to go to playgroup, and do some cooking and have some actual leisure time. My life feels like it's ALWAYS on fast forward and that sucks.
That I LOVE my new front loader Miele. Yes I paid $2000 for a washing machine, but the thing it so awesome I could breed with it! It uses like 52 litres of water instead of the 122 my old one uses. Can we say WOW. Can you imagine the difference that is going to make to our water usage?
That living in the fast lane isn't for me. I need to knock my life back to simple. Those changes are starting now. They will be small, so small an outsider wouldn't notice them, but I think they will make me happy.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Pre waking musings
I am feeling so tired and so sorry for myself.
Mehki was up last night crying and screaming for Gods knows how long and for god knows why.
Seriously that kid is going to be the death of me.At 12:30 last night, it felt like he had been screaming for hours, nevermind the fact that I'd only been in bed for 3 hours. I gave him a dose of neurofen and another drink and packed the little bugger back off to bed. Craig gave me a wakeup call at 5am, but I was far too tired to stumble out then, so I got another wakeup call at 5:45 when he got to work. Bless Him. (Not really, I want to shake his teeth out for being so reliable!)
I have so much I have to do, but then I got asked to work today. Ugh. I can't say no, we really need the money at the moment, but what about my assignment that is due on Friday? I wonder if I could get an extension until Monday?
AF due today, I tested 2 days ago and it was negative, so I'm not feeling hopeful this month. even though Craig and I were both feeling really good about this month. I have had sore boobs, and felt a smidgen queasy and felt off my food. Not too mention I had some bleeding midcycle that had me stumped as I'd never had it before. Oh well, nothing I can do about it I suppose. But I am sad this was my last chance to have an 08 baby. :O( The worst part is we are both thinking about it all the time, we've even got names picked out, talk about jumping the gun! Ava Violet and Jali Nathaniel :O)
Anyway I have a billion things to do, it's 6:30am and the kids are still in bed, (I've sent Leeara back twice already!) I'll try and sneak in a shower and a couple of other jobs before the demons get up.
Mehki was up last night crying and screaming for Gods knows how long and for god knows why.
Seriously that kid is going to be the death of me.At 12:30 last night, it felt like he had been screaming for hours, nevermind the fact that I'd only been in bed for 3 hours. I gave him a dose of neurofen and another drink and packed the little bugger back off to bed. Craig gave me a wakeup call at 5am, but I was far too tired to stumble out then, so I got another wakeup call at 5:45 when he got to work. Bless Him. (Not really, I want to shake his teeth out for being so reliable!)
I have so much I have to do, but then I got asked to work today. Ugh. I can't say no, we really need the money at the moment, but what about my assignment that is due on Friday? I wonder if I could get an extension until Monday?
AF due today, I tested 2 days ago and it was negative, so I'm not feeling hopeful this month. even though Craig and I were both feeling really good about this month. I have had sore boobs, and felt a smidgen queasy and felt off my food. Not too mention I had some bleeding midcycle that had me stumped as I'd never had it before. Oh well, nothing I can do about it I suppose. But I am sad this was my last chance to have an 08 baby. :O( The worst part is we are both thinking about it all the time, we've even got names picked out, talk about jumping the gun! Ava Violet and Jali Nathaniel :O)
Anyway I have a billion things to do, it's 6:30am and the kids are still in bed, (I've sent Leeara back twice already!) I'll try and sneak in a shower and a couple of other jobs before the demons get up.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
:(
I had a really bad afternoon as a parent today, I mean really bad. I don't think things have ever been this bad. I'm not going into details I'm too ashamed.
Needless to say, this is the end of my selfish parenting. No more yelling, No more swearing, and no more 'hang on a minutes, i have to wash the dishes' (Unless they have maggots on them)
Leeara is 4 for goodness sakes, she is going to school next year, I am working 20-40 hours a week, if I don't start making the most of her now, before I know it she will be gone.
Gosh, I'm not the parent I thought and hoped I'd be. It's so hard to try and juggle all these things that life throws my way, the only thing I know is that my kids CAN'T suffer because their Mummy can't get her shit together.
They just Can't.
Needless to say, this is the end of my selfish parenting. No more yelling, No more swearing, and no more 'hang on a minutes, i have to wash the dishes' (Unless they have maggots on them)
Leeara is 4 for goodness sakes, she is going to school next year, I am working 20-40 hours a week, if I don't start making the most of her now, before I know it she will be gone.
Gosh, I'm not the parent I thought and hoped I'd be. It's so hard to try and juggle all these things that life throws my way, the only thing I know is that my kids CAN'T suffer because their Mummy can't get her shit together.
They just Can't.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I don't want for anything
This is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
We went to town the day before my birthday and bought a heap of DVD's, then Craig told me that was my birthday present. I thought he was joking. He wasn't. He had told me he wanted to buy me the notebook, because I have been saying for ages that I wanted it, so this was one of the DVD's we bought.
He came home on my birthday with a bunch of tulips from leeara, a bunch of carnations from mehki, and a block of chocolate. And he organised for his Mum to have the kids so we could go out for tea.
SO why did I feel so ripped off? Was his present really that thoughtless? Or have I simply watched too many movies and have come to expect too much?
And then I realised when my Mum asked me for the second time (after my birthday) what I wanted for my birthday. And do you know I can not think of one damn single thing. The ONLY thing I wanted and had said I wanted in the last few months was the notebook, and Craig had that on the to buy list.
Of all the things in the world, I can not think of anything that I'd like. I don't want clothes (although I probably need them) I don't want a new car, or fancy perfume, or $50 worth of bath stuff. I don't want makeup. I don't want for any housy stuff. I rarely wear jewelery.
SO what's a person left to get me? And do I overcome this consumer driven hype that I MUST get a mega expensive birthday present, that costs heaps and will show everyone we have 'the bling' (when we don't, and don't really desire it either!)
All the things I want are not things that can be given. I want more patience, I want to be less pessimistic, I want to be more motviated, I want to be a more healthy weight, I want to be less of an air head and be more concentrated. I want to keep a tidier house and be more garden proud and get my garden into good shape. These are not things that people can give me (bugger!)
So what does a person get when they want for nothing?
We went to town the day before my birthday and bought a heap of DVD's, then Craig told me that was my birthday present. I thought he was joking. He wasn't. He had told me he wanted to buy me the notebook, because I have been saying for ages that I wanted it, so this was one of the DVD's we bought.
He came home on my birthday with a bunch of tulips from leeara, a bunch of carnations from mehki, and a block of chocolate. And he organised for his Mum to have the kids so we could go out for tea.
SO why did I feel so ripped off? Was his present really that thoughtless? Or have I simply watched too many movies and have come to expect too much?
And then I realised when my Mum asked me for the second time (after my birthday) what I wanted for my birthday. And do you know I can not think of one damn single thing. The ONLY thing I wanted and had said I wanted in the last few months was the notebook, and Craig had that on the to buy list.
Of all the things in the world, I can not think of anything that I'd like. I don't want clothes (although I probably need them) I don't want a new car, or fancy perfume, or $50 worth of bath stuff. I don't want makeup. I don't want for any housy stuff. I rarely wear jewelery.
SO what's a person left to get me? And do I overcome this consumer driven hype that I MUST get a mega expensive birthday present, that costs heaps and will show everyone we have 'the bling' (when we don't, and don't really desire it either!)
All the things I want are not things that can be given. I want more patience, I want to be less pessimistic, I want to be more motviated, I want to be a more healthy weight, I want to be less of an air head and be more concentrated. I want to keep a tidier house and be more garden proud and get my garden into good shape. These are not things that people can give me (bugger!)
So what does a person get when they want for nothing?
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Busy Busy!
Netball starts next week, I cannot wait to be back out there getting some regular exercise.
I've been feeling very off colour these last 3 days, very off my food which it totally unlike me, even chocolate doesn't appease me. Everything I eat tastes like kitty litter (albeit unused thank god!) and I am just totally not hungry.Although microwave popcorn is going down a REAL treat!
8 days until I know if I am UTD, 8 long painful days, which will hopefully pass very quickly considering that as above, netball starts, I will probably have to work 5 of those 8 days, AND I have my first uni assignment due in 11, and I haven't even started my readings yet!
It IS on the to do list, truly it is!
Craig only gets public holidays off and weekends, and so today was just great, we bummed about the house and did virtually NO housework or yard work, did our rendition of chilled out parenting (locked the kids outside haha!Okay, not so much as locked but coaxed them outside!) Craig played the PS3, and I read a book. I start this book called "Ma he sold me for a few cigarettes' on Friday night, and I finished it today and then read a book called "Slave"
I had forgotten just house much I LOVED reading! Once I get into it, I find it hard to stop, but why oh why do I choose to read the type of books that are going to break my heart and expose my naive self to what really happens out there in the big wide world?
Ok bed me, I want to get up early, go for a walk, plan my week to include some study and some exercise, and take the kids to do something cheap but fun (We are back in the poor boat until Craig gets paid on Thursday!)
I've been feeling very off colour these last 3 days, very off my food which it totally unlike me, even chocolate doesn't appease me. Everything I eat tastes like kitty litter (albeit unused thank god!) and I am just totally not hungry.Although microwave popcorn is going down a REAL treat!
8 days until I know if I am UTD, 8 long painful days, which will hopefully pass very quickly considering that as above, netball starts, I will probably have to work 5 of those 8 days, AND I have my first uni assignment due in 11, and I haven't even started my readings yet!
It IS on the to do list, truly it is!
Craig only gets public holidays off and weekends, and so today was just great, we bummed about the house and did virtually NO housework or yard work, did our rendition of chilled out parenting (locked the kids outside haha!Okay, not so much as locked but coaxed them outside!) Craig played the PS3, and I read a book. I start this book called "Ma he sold me for a few cigarettes' on Friday night, and I finished it today and then read a book called "Slave"
I had forgotten just house much I LOVED reading! Once I get into it, I find it hard to stop, but why oh why do I choose to read the type of books that are going to break my heart and expose my naive self to what really happens out there in the big wide world?
Ok bed me, I want to get up early, go for a walk, plan my week to include some study and some exercise, and take the kids to do something cheap but fun (We are back in the poor boat until Craig gets paid on Thursday!)
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