Do you ever compare yourself to people you went to school with?

I was working the other day and I served a guy who I went to school with. I was so desperately embarssed when he came through my checkout. All I could think was, you are a navy lawyer now, and here I am still sanning groceries like I was 8 years ago. Sheesh. What a way to make a person feel worthless.
Of course some lovely friend of mine kindly pointed out that having a family is an achievement. Which of course it is. Let's face is, it's feckin' hard raising kids, but I am so desperate to acheive something personally for myself. Just for me. The flow on effect will naturally benefit my kids, but I need SOMETHING.
Lately I have been thinking heaps about going back to uni. As conceited as it sounds, I have too much brain power to be wasting it scanning groceries and stacking shelves. I Do however like the money it proves,even if it is a measly 17.35 an hour. I do sometimes have moments where I am thankful the job doesn't require your brain to be ticking at all times, and the job is flexible enough for now to make it work with my families needs.
Study on the other hand provides me no money (short term in the least) and huge amount of brain power and very little flexibility, but I can't help but wonder if it would be better for just me. If I put my family aside for one moment. Study would be for me.
I don't know what to do. Husband (in all his supportive ness) just told me "You do what you want to do, and then just tell me what I need to do to enable you to do it" What a fantastically generic supportive answer.
Perhaps what I actually need is an epiphany or some clarity.

I should be cleaning.
But really cannot be bothered.
I have the dishes to do from this afternoons cooking effort. 6 dozen mini egg and bacon pies and a weetbix slice. Y.U.M
But then I decided to have a Nanna's Nap, and well it's all downhill from there!

How did I end up with such a blissful baby?
He regulary goes to bed around 6pm, wakes at 12 give or take half an hour, and then again at 5am, give or take half an hour. Now if I do say so myself, that is an awsome routine for an8 week old. I can put him to bed awake. And he will go off to sleep. He feeds for ten minutes and is done. He is fed, and settled back to bed in about 15 minutes overnight.What an adorable little munchkin! I check his nappy, but more ofton than not, he hasn't wet it! Weird! It feels wrong to leave him in the same nappy for 11 hours! Especially a cloth nappy! Mind you he makes up for it during the day he piddles like a trooper!
Well thats it for now, I'm off to pt myself on the back, and shake my own hand.
<3 you Eli!

Okay so my life is so fucking crazy and chaotic and busy that I ofton forget the funny things that happen. So here is a short recollection of my week.

Mehki decided to stick his finger on his bumhole and then put his finger in his mouth. Jesus only knows why he would attempt something so revolting. I am so reminding him of this when he brings his first girlfriend home.

Mehki asked me if I poo'd my pants. Lovely. I have no idea why he would ask something so obscure. (I don't make a habit of shitting my daks. really!)

The baby was laying on his back, and pee'd it looked just like a water fountain. The stupid things I'm amused by!

The baby pee'd at the bean bag, my first instinct was to put my hand out and deflect the pee. Nothin like warm baby pee squirting on my hand.

So most of you have probably heard of Edward Cullen. Yes I think he is a little bit cute. Husband teases me all the time about 'Twedward' so much so, that now when ever that song from the movie Twilight called Decode by Paramore comes on the kids run around the house yelling out TWEDWARDS ON TWEDWARDS ON! Funny but insanely annoying.

I also happen to think that Johnny Depp as a pirate is hot, and Vin Diesel and Jason Statham are to die for.

So we are driving along the other day and husband comes out with 'I know what would turn you on, a balding middle age vampire who thinks he's a pirate' ROFL!

What's not to love about my life?

I love it when Eli sleeps 7.5 hours. What a champion.

I don't love it however when I go to bed late and get 2.5 hours. Then another 3.5 hours. Then one more hour. Broken sleep is the devil.
I guess it could be worse, I could be getting no sleep, and lets face it, Eli is a gem overnight. He is fed, burped changed and settled within 20 minutes and back to sleep for at least another 3 hours. So far he is putting himself in a bit of a routine, which is great. He is heading to bed at night at around 6pm, and having a big sleep, usually at least 4 hours, but sometimes up to 6 or 7! Then he is awake at 5am every morning, he stays up for nearly an hour, and then goes back to bed. By that time Mehki is awake, and 15 minutes later Leeara comes charging out of her room. Crazy days here!
On a bright note, I'm not sure if I mentioned but we have nearly completed the foster care process. We have the last interview on the 20th of this month, and then the first 2 weekends in May we do 2 out of the 4 training sessions, then fter that we do the other two sometime. I'm really looking forward to it :)
Must go, stacks to do and there is so not enough hours in the day for everything!!

Oh. My God.

My house is crazy and chaotic. Not right now, surprisingly but in general. Seriously the place is trashed! Will it ever be tid again? Before the kids leave home preferably! It drives me nuts! Everywhere I turn there is STUFF!
There is no food in my house. But I am not going shopping until tomorrow. Christ only knows what we are going to eat for tea tonight! We donj't even have any baked beans! ANd I idn't make any bread today.

Wow.... things are dire!

I feel so gross right now.

There are rats and mice in my house. I've got so desperate to get rid of them that I've put posin out. God I wish they would fuck off. Filthy rotten bastards. My house smells like mice, and that grosses me out so much. My bedroom smells like mice, WTF? Why would they be going into my bedroom? Ugh.
I think I will be contacting a pest controller this week. I can't stand it, it makes me feel so dirty. I can hear them in the roof! yuk yuk yukkity yuk.

Beware, a severe dose of bitching coming up about.....now.

Why the fuck does my house look like a bomb has hit it at nearly every moment of the day?
I feel like a fucking rat on one of those wheel things, I keep on running and don't get anywhere!
I cannot cook and clean and nurse a newborn, and look after two other littlies when my house is about to be condemmed. Ok, so I know it's not that bad, but today has been a shit of a day. The baby didn't want to be put down which would be fine if I had another set of arms, or if I didn't have other stuff I needed to do. He's lucky he's so damn gorgeous, or I might just peg him out with the next load of washing. And the house looks terrible. I am houseproud really. I just can't get it to a standard and maintain it. I feel suffocated.

The dog we are dogsitting chewed my fucking favourite shoes. I took them off to have a bounce on the trampoline(mostly to relieve some of today' stress) and he chewed them. They were also my wedding shoes. Not.happy.mongrel.

Why does my computer desk accumulate soooo much crap, and where the heck does it come from. You literally have to tiptoe past it or you cause an avalanche of papers and crap falling down everywhere. *sigh*

Why does breastfeeding not make me shed weight? Ugh. I like to eat, I hate to exercise, these things should not be working against me!

I think the universe hates me.

Yikes, I'm 23. Happy belated birthday to me.
I have a 5 year old, where did my baby go?

I'm tired. I decided to have a few drinkies last night, and got a but tipsy. Getting up at 230 am to pump and dump is not my idea of a 'big night'

Thank god for frozen breastmilk.

Now for some random thoughts running through my head.

Husband says we are mostly stopping at 4 kids beause we only have a 3 bedroom house, now by all accounts that makes sense to me, but dammit can't we just buy a bigger house?

I have been cooking soo much, boston buns, cupcakes, custard cream biscuits (by the dozens) and unfortunately breastfeeding does nothing for weightloss for me. But then neither does PCOS, or no exercise at all. *sigh* my heart must hate me.

Netball season is just around the corner. I can't wait, at least I will get a little bit of exercise every week now!

Eli slept for 7 hours last night.... so stoked right now, and hoping thats a sign of things to come.

Huband is currently painting Leearas room, she should have her own room this week.... super duper exciting!

There's 7 acres for sale down the road for 40K, am thining about buying it to build a bigger house. I wonder how much we'd need to build a house?

We have th 3rd of the 4 foster care interviews tomorrow. The training is booked in for next month and the month after.... totally looking forward to it! Another reason to get a bigger house!

Must go have a squawking child.

I have something I need to get off my chest.
I think there is something wrong with my vagina.

I feel much better now.

mm spew...

I just love it when Im breastfeeding and my son lets go of my boob and spews all over it.
The boy doesn't get his class from me I swear!
Bless his little grommity soul.

On a good note I've been baking again. Like my arse needs any more custard cream biscuits..... DOH!

It's been 5 days since I blogged. Where the hell has that gone? My little man is 3 weeks old tomorrow. That is just wrong on so many levels! He's growing up so fast! He's sleeping pretty well overnight, I'm getting 3-4 hour blocks, and he settles pretty easily, so that's making for a pretty cruisy life right now. He is such a gorgeous little snuffler. I love love love it when he wakes up and hes grunting and snorting and turning his head fom side to side with his mouth open just waiting for a boob to fall into it <3 Just adorable.

But boy can I eat! I have to stop buying junk food because I keep eating it all! I got so desperate for junk food that I baked some! LOL.
Not to mention I am craving coke, but I am not brave enough to drink it because I don't want it to upset my little mans tummy. Gee breastfeeding is a sacrifice sometimes. Yeah yeah cue the violin here, and bring out words such as selfish, blah blah blah.

Oh, and I think I have finally realised what it is about smoking that I liked so much. The fact that I could go off by myself for a few minutes, have a smoke, something that I didn't have to share, all to myself, ahhh pure bliss..... until of course 10 years down the track when I get lung cancer. It's been 18 months since I gave up smoking...boy do I miss it.... but I have no plans on going back to it.

*grumble grumble*
Stupid responsible parent.

Things' Ive learnt

Okay, so the newbie is here. I had a fantastic homebirth that apart from hurting like hell as one would expect when your vagina is evicting something that is 8 pound 12 oz went fantastic.
I can't wait to do it again. Yes I am crazy and slighty insane. I never proclaimed to have an ounce of sanity, so anyone who assumed otherwise has been duped!
Things I have learnt from being a Mother of 3
-Everyone wants something at once
-As soon as you sit down someone will want something.
-Don't assume that babies will just suck on your nipple, the will suck on any part of the boob they can get their devil mouths around.
- The house still doesn't clean itself.
-You can never get enough sleep.
-Don't agree to the nearly 5 year old before fully understanding what you are agreeing to.
-Don't send the 5 year old off in angst because you are sick of the dobbing. She is usually telling you something vital that devil spawn 2.5 year old is doing that he shouldn't be.
-Reasoning with a 2.5 year old doesn't get any easier when you are sitting on the couch with your boos out.
-Yelling doesn't work either.
-Sleep, whilst vital is totally avoidable (not by choice) when you throw another child in the mix.
-As soon as you sit down, the mobile will beep or the home phone will ring.
-Going off AD's whe you've just had a newborn baby is not the best idea. Throw in an hour long phonecall with Telstra, and it's bound to end in tears.
-The definition of multi tasking does not include sitting at the computer typing this diary entry, whilst the veggies get the fuck boiled out of them. ( FTR, the veggies were inedible, and the pots seen better days)

And last but not least
-Alcohol and breastfeeding SHOULD be more compatible, to combat days like today. *sigh*

Yes Yes Im naughty!

It's been months since I blogged.
Im sorry.

We had a great holiday, our wedding was fantastic. Being married is great.

I am due in 5 days time now and am really over being pregnant.

The next person who asks me 'havent you have that baby yet' so help me god I will slit their throat from ear to ear.

I had a Dr appointment yesterday and she did a stretch and sweep and I am already 2 cms dialated.

I told my Mum, who then told everyone I was in labour. UGH. I get a phone call this afternoon asking how I'm going, and text messages yesterday and facebook messages today. I am NOT in labour alright! I will bloody well let you know when I am. Yes I know you are exciting, so AM I, but let me go into labour first!

THe kids are good, Leeara starts schoolon the 17th, we picked up her schoolbooks today, I can't believe she goes to school this year..... Crazy!

Mehki is toliet trained. His idea, so we just went with the flow and now he's toilet trained. We are stoked with that.
Well it's late, and I've ignored my husband far too much tonight I should go pay him some attention.

Saying my 'husband' feels so strange! BUt lovely at the same time :)