It's been a while since I've updated this blog.
Craig got his job back which is great news, but I guess in a way I do feel a tiny bit sad. We took such a huge risk asking for more money to cover expenses, and if he hadn't got his job back life could have been a bit exciting, looking for a change, or moving to the city. However I guess these things happen for a reason, and for now I'm happy just to stumble down this path my life is going down.

I haven't exercised at all since just before Christmas and I feel terrible physically and mentally, all that exercise was working wonders for my depression. My ears have finally cleared, but I guess I am going to have to swim with ear plugs in. Just need to get myself a swimming cap, a breast to knee swim suit and a rubber ducky floatation device and I will be all that!!
I'm looking forward to swimming and walking again, I cannot believe the difference it made to my mindset!

So it;s 11:20pm, on New Years Eve, I'm home alone, Craig has gone shark fishing (bless him, poor man couldn't catch a cold on a cold winters night!) my Step Mum offered to have my kids, but I'm pretty happy just to stay home. The kids are asleep so I'm just relaxing having the house to myself.
I'm taking the time to reflect on the things that happened this year, and this things that I would like to happen next year. There is not one large thing that sticks out to me this year that I feel I miserably failed at, but a few little niggly things that I will be working on. I want to get organised. I want a routine, even if it's just a semi routine. I was the TV to be off more, it only goes on in the evenings but still..... I want to lose weight, get fit, fall pregnant (all before Jan 7th when I get my mirena out, hopeful much you think?! Coming from someone who could win Miss pessimist of the year) I want to be less pessimistic, it's not a good quality, I don' t want to be the sort of person who drags everyone down around her.
I want to make more of my own things, and spend more time doing homely things.
I want to stop sweating the small stuff and spend more time with the kids. Someone I need to get it through my thick head that the housework CAN and SHOULD wait. They are only little once!
I want to be a more patient parent. I'm still selfish, I don't jump when my kids call out, I don't pander to their every whim and need. Of course I am there for them when they truly need me, but I want to be there just because they want me there.
I will stick to just turning the computer on in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed, and in fact I might implement another new rule, it doesn't come on until I have done a set amount of chores everynight, try and give myself some incentive to keep the house maintained.
I want to spend more time doing thigns that Craig wants to do. Golf, fishing, playing monopoly (I MUST stop being such a sore loser!) because he does things that *I* want to do, and I guess you have to sacrifice some things. What's a coupld hours of my time playing golf, at least we get to be together.
I want to get financially set. We get by at the moment, but never have much cash spare. I don't consider myself to be a materistic person by any means, I want a car that can carry the kids I want to have, and carry them safely, and I want a house that doesn't mean I have to have 6 kids in one bedroom. So next year my aim is to get our debt managed, purchase a Mitsubishi Delica, not because I like them by any means,but simply because I think it would be an all round practical vehicle that would allow us to go camping and fishing and woodcutting and all those things that are hard to do without a 4WD. I will also work hard at putting us in a better position so we can extend the house. We have thought long and hard about what we should do, as we live in a 2 bedtoom house in a rural area. We currently owe 72K on our house. We will probably be overcapitalising but a small price to pay I guess for a house that we will raise all our children in (so another 20 odd years I imagine at least we will spend in this house) and it will also mean we will still have, in comparison a small mortgage. It will mean we will have a huge 5 bedroom house, including 1 large main bedroom with ensuite :) I NEED a house that has two toilets, cos you can guarantee in this house the minute you go someone else always needs to go.

Anyway, that's enough for me, those are my goals and aims for 2008. Best of luck to everyone out there for the New Year, I hope it brings you peace, joy and love.

My daughter comes out with some of the funniest things.

Funny Thing #1
To set the scene Leeara is jumping up and down screaming because she is annoyed and has a wedgie. Mama gets cross and says "For goodness sake take the bloody things off then if they are going to keep giving you wedgies" (Bearing in mind this is wedgie number 437 for the day. Mama rethinks what she has said to her baby bear and decides she has been too harsh and tries to lighten the mood with "You must be getting all the wedgies because your bum is getting big!" to which baby bear replies "Yes Mummy, I'll have to start wearing YOUR undies now!"

Funny Thing #2
Mama has a friend over and is advising said friend not to have children for another 10-13 years so that my children can babysit hers and we can go out Leeara pipes up "I'll look after them, but I'm not going to breastfeed them!"

She is the funniest little thing!

Well both my kids are having a sleep, I've considered joining them, I shouldn't be on here wasting my precious time, there is dinner to cook, and a house to clean, and a book that I really want to read that isn't going to read itself.
Went for another walk yesterday, that's 5X exercise this week, AND a pretty good healthy diet. Go me!

Well I best get off here, or my entire times whilst the kids are sleeping will be wasted.

Still no news on C's job. Bloody bastards keeping us hanging like this.
The good news is I have exercised 5 times this week! have walked 3km's 4 times and swam once. We went swimming on Thursday night and I swam 43 laps! Which is 1.075 kms! I have also been making heaps better food choices and actually found some willpower somewhere! SO if anyone out there has lost some, don't worry I've found it, but I'm not giving it back!
DD is going through an interesting stage at the moment. She's very impatient with her brother and can be a bit mean to him sometimes, she doesn't realise that he doesn't understand he is being a pain in her bum. *sigh* I cant wait until he can talk and they start to verbally argue (yes that is pure sarcam there!)
Must go and cook tea, I have a friend coming over soon!

*sigh* DD is sick, she has a sore throat and a bark. DS is barking like a dog, and no matter what we do he is always falling over and banging his head. The kid constantly has bruises on his face and head :(

I'm stressed. C might not have a job in the next few weeks, if he is unemployed we are going to be in mega trouble. I really want to get some debt paid off, I'm dreading thinking about him losing his job :(

Ugh, when it rains it fucking pours. How is it sometimes we are cruising along nicely with money and then others we really have to tighten our purse strings. It sucks. We don't live what I would call a 'high life' so how are we just getting by sometimes?

So I did what I said I was going to do, I stayed off the computer all day. Because it was turned off the temptation wasn't as great. I turned it on at 7pm, although both the kids weren't quite in bed I'm quite happy with that effort still.

I got my photo proofs back from Clair, they are looking pretty good! http://www.clairbremner.com/marshall/index.html There are a few photos that don't look very good, but I'd say that had more to do with the person in the photo than the person taking it, man it doesn't take much to turn an oridnary looking person into an ugly one, especially when you have an extra 30KG's on your side. *sigh*

I had a doctors appt today, I've made an appt with a dietician, and my Dr. has suggest that I up the mettformin to 2 times a day and then gradually increase to 3 times a day. I really hope it helps me to lose weight, because I want to have another baby, but being so overweight is just not cool. Being pregnant is hard enough, I can't imagine how hard it would be on your body when you are seriously overweight.
I am going to try and stick to the weightwatchers program, take the mettformin and go back to the doctors in a months time and will have hopefully lost some weight. I think I am also going to go on the public waiting list for a lapband. I don't know that I entirely agree with them, but I do know that I am desperately unhappy in this body.

Note to self, stop drinking beer, just because you gave up the smokes doesn't mean you can drink more! When I drink I ramble... I mean type ramble...

It's funny the amount of stuff you can get done when you don't have the computer on. I tend to leave it on all day, and spend 10 minutes here and there, but sometimes those 10 minutes can lead up until an hour. A whole hour wasted reading shit on the internet on how to be a better parent. I spend more time in theory than I do doing the practical things that are being a great parent. So my new resolve is to turn the computer off each night before I go to bed (saves power too, so YAY so me conserving power AND saving money!) and the stupid ever distracting computer can stay off until my kids have gone to bed. I'm always just jumping on for a second, there is never really anything new, nothing livesaving, not REALLY that interesting, yet I find myself so distracted by the internet when there are soo man more constructive things I could be doing.
Nothing in life is more important than spending time with my kids, especially as our time together is so precious because I am working, yet I am still being selfish and doing the 'just for a few minutes' on the computer. I find myself saying 'Just a moment, hang on would ya, I'll be there in a minute' plus a number of other random sentences that my brain has put together when I am not concentrating on what my daughter is saying,
Plus in all honesty I find that when I am trying to divide my attention between the kids and the computer I get cranky and have heaps less patience, so not having it on during the day has go to have some benefits. I guess it's best to get out of the habit now too because when uni starts again next year, I want to be completely weaned off all internet distractions.