Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sometimes I feel sad

I feel sad that my kids don't have the grandparents I'd always hoped they'd had.
My kids will never have the sort of grandparents who take them away for the summer holidays. Or the type of grandparents who take them to the movies, or who rock up unannounced and take them away for the weekend, or the type who look after the kids when I work, or even the type who offer to have the kids so we can go out for a night.
Don't get me wrong, I do NOT expect anyone to look after my kids. But I can't help but feel sad when I think about the special relationship kids have with their grandparents.
I have one grandparent I can ask to have the kids, she rarely says no if we give her notice, but I never really feel as though she wants to look after the kids. PLus I don't like to ask her much because she is usually the only one we ask, and I don't want to overdo it. My Mum on the other hand will take Leeara, but not Mehki, she says she can't handle both at the same time. Sure they are a bloody handful (what kids aren't) but are they that bad she can't have them for 15 hours overnight so we can have some time to ourselves?If she thinks she can't handle them how does she think we feel? We RARELY ever get a break. She makes me sad, because she offers to take Leeara, she rocks up and takes her for a few hours, and my poor darling boisterous boy always gets left behind, and soon he will be big enough to understand this :(

To put things into more simple terms my MIL has the kids overnight once every 2-4 months, and maybe once for 3-4 hours for a day. My Mother hasn't looked after the kids overnight since November 2006, and hasn't looked after both my kids for several months now.
The other thing I hate is that if we want to go out, we are always bloody rushed into coming home. My Mum for example likes us to be as quick as possible, rush rush rush and get home and pick the monsters up, where's the bloody fun in going somewhere when you know you have a tight schedule and have to be constantly thinking 'Is it time to go yet?'
My MIL on the other hand does something similar, but doesn't really say it, just makes me feel like we should rush home the minute we open our eyes.
I will never forget the time my own Mother said to me once (via MSN) "You are always trying to fob your kids off, and you never have them anyway they are always at daycare."
Boy did that sting. I don't know why she is so hung up on how my kids are cared for, I NEVER ask her to bloody look after them.
How could I work, AND go to uni without using daycare? DO I look like a freakin' superwoman?
It's pretty bloody sad when the person you rely on most for help with your kids is your family day carer.
Oh and prime example, I asked Mum tonight to look after the kids on March 1st for the night. And after a long thought of reply got back "I'm not looking after them if you are going to town at like 9 in the morning, I will have htem if you are going at 5 or so"
-Again, don't fucking worry about it, I should have known better than to think I could rely on you....just once.

Yes, I realise I am like a dog with a bone, but I just HAD to get that off my chest.

1 comment:

TheThingsIdTellYou said...

My boys' grandparents have never had them overnight either. And, what's worse, they used to take Xander often. Until he was diagnosed with autism. Even though I'd been telling them for 3 years I thought he was autistic, even though the diagnosis changed nothing at all, and he is an easy child, for some reason, all of a sudden, it became too hard. Breaks my heart for him.

I hope you don't mind I"m reading.