frazzled mummy

Dear son,
Please for the love of god stop taking your nappy off and wee'ing on the floor. even worse than that is the nuggets you drop on the floor. Seriously gross love.
So I've dragged your potty out, in future please deposit all surprises in there for mummy or we are seriously going to come to blows at some point.
Whilst we are at it. No more wee'ing in the fridge. In fact stay out of the fridge, I'm sick of you grabbing the butter and eating it straight from the container. Leave the cupboards alone because I'm sick of the mess you make. Stay out of the freakin' pantry, if you are hungry just ask me dammit, it's not like I don't feed you!!
Oh and this whole gotta sleep not 2mm from my Mum allllllllllll night has got to stop, you bloody snore! And manage to connect every limb you own with some part of my body, I'm sick of midnight slaps in the face, and your little feet in my bumcrack, not cool kid!
Oh and whilst we are at it, stop trying to suck on my boobies, you scare the beejesus out of me boy! Especially since when you did get ahold of my nipple you bit me.

-One very frazzled mummy signing off now.