Okay, so today is day 3 on the happy pills. I have been less tearful, but truth be told, we've done some major renovations to this house in the last two days so I haven't had any time to feel sad. Next time we get the bright idea to knock out a wall that needs 2 major support beams to keep the roof over our head, please smack me upside the head. Waking up at 6am to powertools all over the floor is not my idea of fun. Oh and to the moron who built my house and thought that insulating it with little foam balls was a good idea, YOU ARE A MORON!
So here's the dirt on the heavy stuff:
I don't feel so heavy and bogged down, I don't have that lingering headache that I've been too afraid to take panadol to cure. Not that I don't trust myself, it's just that the thought of taking pills my body is rejecting with a strong gag reflex. Oh and the physical ill that I felt hours after taking the panadol is still fresh in my mind.
I feel a bit calmer, and a bit less sad.
I am hoping and praying that the anti depressants work, whoever knew that depression could be so debilitating? Although I must admit that I resent the fact that I'm going to rely on pills to make me happy. But I'll deal with that later, first obstacle is regaining some control of my brain and regulating my thoughts. Doing this it should help me put an end to the pain I'm feeling, but in a manner that keeps me alive.
Friday, May 16, 2008
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2 comments:
I think instead of "relying on them to be normal" think about them as brain chemistry equalisers. They are just fine tuning it on a temporary basis to give you the space to sort out everything else that is going on. I'm very glad to hear that you are feeling a little bit better. Make sure that you don't just "stop" the medication at anytime, okay? Take care of yourself.
Was going to say exactly what Lex did. You're not relying on pills to be happy. They won't do that. You're relying on them to treat a physiological problem. Your hormones are crazy and your brain chemistry is askew. They will help rectify that, stabilise you.
I'm on them too. They literally saved my life this time around.
May I ask what they've put you on?
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