Ever feel like you are just coasting along in blah blah land? That's how I feel. It's like I'm not sad anymore, but I'm nothing. I feel nothing. I feel dead inside. I feel no joy, no pain, no anger, no resentment, no happiness. It's like a part of me has died when I started taking these happy pills. I feel no sense of direction with my life, I cannot for the life of me look to the future and see me in my future. I just don't know.
Maybe it's just my sub conscious attacking myself because secretly I resent having to take anti depressants. I can see this is just a stupid vicious cycle, and unless I change my way of thinking I will never get better. But where the heck do I start? How do I start? I'm such a bloody pessimist, that I've probably been doomed from the start.
Friday, May 23, 2008
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2 comments:
It's so early yet, Amber. I felt that way in the beginning too. It will settle, but if it doesn't, go talk to your GP. Ask about another med. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open with her (don't know if you're havnig regular checkups with her or a psych or anyone), so you can bring it up and ask her what she thinks.
How're you doing, Amber?
Still thinking of you (in a totallynonstalkerishway, lol).
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