Reflections of the last week

Things I can reflect on from the last week without a computer.

-Keep computer closed, son climbing on computer and wee'ing on it, is a very expensive $175 exercise. One that I do NOT want to participate in again.

-Getting a positive pregnancy test brought the biggest smile to my face for a whole week. Fancy being so blessed to fall pregnant within two months when you have PCOS.

-Starting to bleed Wednesday night. I never would have thought having an early miscarriage could be so fucking devastating. I feel fiercely protective of my baby, I want to keep you dammit, and heaven help anyone who calls it a foetus. It's in MY body therefore I'll call it what I want, and I reserve the right to break your nose if you call it otherwise.

-Waiting for HCG results sucks. Fancy having to wait two freakin days to find out if your pregnancy is still viable. Fuck I hate that word its so clinical and cold. I get the first results today, not that they will tell me much.

-Feeling like your gut feeling was right. Since before I got pregnant I had a bad feeling about this pregnancy, I didn't feel like it would have a positive outcome. I'm not holding onto much hope at the moment I must admit.

-Life without the computer for a week was pretty damn good. Can you believe I had withdrawels? I read a couple of good books (yes in a WEEK!) and feel all inspired and shit to do something with my life.

-Discovering (sort of) what peak oil is all about. Can we say HOLY SHIT BATMAN. I had never considered that oil was in so many of our everyday items. How are we going to cope without it? And why the hell are major coroporations allowed to rape our environment of its natural resources? Why why why do people take the ostrich approach? Why the heck aren't people interested in growing their own food and preserving the environment. Yes I am a hypocrite because we don't grow a lot, so fucking shoot me. I'm working on it.

-Remembering what it's like for me to be so indecisive. Two weeks ago we looked at a block up the bush, 16 acres of rainforest, with 2 cleared acres for offers over 50K. Sounded great until we realised we could only borrow 120K to build with. I don't think 120K is going to build us much, especially when the land needs to be levelled and yadda yadda.
Then not a week later we are looking at a house in 'the city' (far from it, but the cloest to the city out here) and we put in an offer that got rejected. The idea was that with fuel prices rising, it owuld be a good idea to be close to work, and all other amenities.
And well, now I have no bloody idea what I want to do. I change my mind daily, sometimes hourly, and always come up with these great plans, until I realise for some reason why they won't work out.

What the heck do I do next?