I have a problem

This happens to me every semester. I can't cope with the workload I am putting on myself.
I'm trying to work, and trying to find time to study and semester has only just started and I can't find time to study how the hell am I going to find time in the middle of the semester?
I'm being a terrible Mum. My son woke 3 times last night and I ended up screaming up him. I feel so bad. Why can't he sleep through the night? And to make it bloody worse he screamed for ages, the minute I picked him up and put him down he comes running through the loungeroom with the fucking smirk on his face that just sent me berko.
Why can't the boy sleep.
Somethings gotta give, and if I don't decide soon it's going to be my sanity.

Why am I so indecisive? I've only just gone back to work and now I'mm questioning whether I should be working or not, life as a working mother is hard, and I mean BLOODY hard. I have getting home at 630pm everynight, stupid retail hours. I really want to study, but when I wasn't working I couldn't find the motivation to do it from home, and campus is too far away. I don't know that being a SAHM suits me either. I'm not a motherly person, which makes me sad really. I don't sit down and role play with the kids, I don't get maternal rushes of glee by banging pots and pans together.
I'm a practical, no nonsense, everything has a purpose, teach them lessons type Mum. I'm the sort of mum who puts more effort into preparing where we are going (food, drink, weather appropriate clothes, WHERE we are going) that when we get there I don't chill out with the kids. I rush them off to play on their own so that Mummy can have 5 minutes to collect her thoughts.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Why can't I just decide what I want to do? :(