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It's happened again. I've started spending far to much time on the computer again. Time to start turning it off again at night, you see once it's off it's a mega pain in the arse to turn back on, and takes forever to load up. So turning it off, means I am not at all tempted to get on it.
How it's come back to this I don't know. But it HAS to stop. Sometimes I think the internet can be as bad as an addiction to cigarettes or alcohol. I could easily spend 8 hours a day on this thing. The whole time I am, I am only be half a parent too my children, ever found yourself saying 'Hang on, I'll get it in a minute, Yep I'm coming?' How many of Mehki's nap times have I wasted here, instead of doing something special with my ever inqusitive, needs lots of attention, is forever wanting to learn, but truly most precious daughter? I am nearly crying just thinking about it. One of my downfalls as a parent is that sometimes I am reluctant to put their needs before mine. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
I've done my uni enrolment, uni starts at the end of Feb, I am working all over the show, (the joys of being a freakin' call in! GRR!) My garden needs to be desperately attended too, AND I've stopped exercising, my physcal body is suffering, I can literally hear my body groaning 'I am so calling the union, this extra 20 kilos was NOT in our contract dammit!) TO make matters worse I found two pics the other day in my computer drawer that Craig had taken of me pre Leeara. You can see my curves, but DAMN I had a good body, why didn't I appreciate what I had then? I guess you never do really, it's not until something is gone that you will truly appreciate what you did have.
And that all comes back to making the most of your children, before i know it, Little Miss will be 4, I will be 22, then it will be easter, uni exams and first semester will be over. During that time I am hoping to be pregnant again, then second semester will be here, Mehki's second birthday, more exams, another baby to be born in there somewhere, and then Christmas again. This year is going to fly by, and I know that I am not going to remember all those hours I spent fruitlessly trying to better myself by reading internet drivel. But I WILL remember spending time with the kids, teaching the things, laughing with them, being tickled by them and tickling them, I will remember all the precious snuggles my son gives me, the noises he makes in place of words, I will remember the funny antics of my daughter who has totally inherited her Fathers sense of humour. I will remember those things, because *they* are what's important.

For everyone in thise house's sake I HAVE to be organised. I need to keep myself a routine with both exercising, uni, and housework and most importantly the kids.
My new rule is now going to be, no computer when the kids are home, and no computer until they are in bed. Fancy me being so selfish to have this time wasting machine on when my kids are only home for 3 days a week? The other 4 they are at daycare until 3:30, so I have those days to myself which I waste away doing nothing productive and then still stay on here when they get home. I spend more time reading how to be a better person and parent, than I do putting these things into practice! How simple is it really? Turn off computer=automatically a better parent.
I must get to bed at a decent hour tonight, the puter is going off tonight until tomorrow night at the very least, maybe it should stay off even longer really, because I have been neglecting Craig a bit.