Getting my life organised

I never never been this motivated to get healthy before. I am so motivated to walk, and go swimming, when I went for my walk tonight I actually broke into a run, I probably only ended up running like 1/4 of the way, but still, I am the type of person who NEVER runs....unless somethings chasing me :)

My body is being a bit of a PITA, I'm not sure what's going on with it, I won't go into too much detail, but let's jsut say it ain't pretty. So I have no idea when I'm supposed to ovulate. Poor Craig, I guess we will just have to practice some extra, (how on earth will he ever cope with that!?!)

We've started a star/reward chart with Leeara tonight, in the hope it will convince her to go to bed and not carry on anymore, I've told her if she get's 7 stars in a row, she can pick out a new DVD. That probab;y sounds like poor parenting, but I really could care less, the kid needs to start going to bed without mucking around. Tonight she was mostly good, came out to give us her dirty old bandaid, and to go to the toilet, (Must remember to send her to the toilet before bed tomorrow) so based on that, there was no whinging or whining she will get to draw a star on her chart tomorrow. It seems a waste to buy a DVD when she will watch ir 2-3 times and go in the pile of others, but at this point I'm desperate. I do NOT want to be the kind of Mother who yells and does the lolly at her kids and scares them, I want to be a rational FUN mummy, I want to raise children who come from a respectful and calm house, I never want them to be scared of me. So it seems WE are keeping our housework under control, I've managed to control my depression, I've started tackling my physical health, and I'm working on improving my parenting, all in all this year is going so WELL so far, if this is the layout for the rest of the year, it is surely going to be a GREAT year!

I better get going, I had a phone call earlier on today, I have to work 9-7 tomorrow, of course I don't want to, but I'd be a fool to turn down $30 an hour for a 9 hour shift!

Part of my New Years resolution was to put more effort into keeping the house tidy. We are 10 days into the New Year and Craig and I have been maintaining the house together, every day or every couple of days I do one other job, declutter a space, or tidy something that desperately needs tidying. I spent 1.5 hours in the kids room the other day. I took out 2/3 of their toys and put them in containers to be brought back inside in a few weeks, I figure they cannot play with them all at once, so I will rotate the toys so everything else get's played with. It also makes their room so much easier to tidy! I went through all their clothes, took out Ky's stuff that was too big, labelled it to go into the shed for when he will fit into it, and I took out all the clothes that don't get work or were too small. It's amazing how much more room they have in their drawers!
Another one of my downfalls was keeping up with the washing! I have no problems getting it washed, dried and folded, but I hate hate hate putting it away! And so does Craig! So all year we have been keeping up with all aspects of the washing. You wouldn't believe that I actually have TWO loungeoom chairs now!

On a body note, my mirena is gone, and I have lost 7cm's off my waist! I haven't shifted the scales, but you can't win 'em all!

I am crazy

I must be mega crazy.
Last night I had 5 kids here, my brother who is 10, my other brother who is 6, my newphew who is 4, and my two kids of course. This place was absolutely crazy. But in fact it was soo nice to have a houseful of kids, so nice, can't wait till I have 6!

I got my mirena out, that was unpleasant, fingers crossed that I ovulate next week, if my body behaves and this PCOS doesn't affect my fertility too much. I'm thinking about quitting work, I'm having a hard time getting along with my boss, she just makes my life miserable. *sigh* to make matters worse, she's my Aunt. I really don't konw if we can afford for me to not work, but having these last few weeks off has really made me appreciate being at home, maybe I'll give up work and study until I have another baby,

It's been a while since I last wrote. I'm not real good at keeping up with blogs. I usually have plenty of thoughts to spew out, but generally it's when the computer is off, and I cannot be bothered to turn it on.

Over Christmas I let my exercise regime slide. Days into being a lazy arse, I could feel my whole outlook on life draggin' me down. I was begining to spend more time on the computer, like it was actually and important part of my life (again!) and I could feel myself feeling miserable about my life and everything in it, yet nothing in particular. So Wednesday night I started walking again, I went twice in Thursday, and twice on Friday, once on Saturday, and well I was supposed to go twice today, but gee I'm feeling unmotivated, I think it's something to do with this stinking hot weather! Well if you are from Tassie, it's hot weather but if you are a mainlander this is probab;y the type of weather you pray for on a regular basis!

I am supposed to get my IUD out tomorrow, I'm semi excited about that but pretty bloody nervous too, I mean is it going to hurt, and well this is going to sound stupid, but when and IF I get pregnant, I don't want to look fat not pregnant, I want to be visibly pregnant :(
Then again I might not be able to get it out now, because I got my period last Wedesday and it's still going strong today, so I doubt I will be able to get it out now. Although I am pleased because that means I should be ovulating not long after it comes out!

Oh and just to confirm my utter nerdiness...... The found our first two zucchini's in the garden today, little baby ones! AND I can see at LEAST half a dozen cucumbers on the plants too!

It's been a while since I've updated this blog.
Craig got his job back which is great news, but I guess in a way I do feel a tiny bit sad. We took such a huge risk asking for more money to cover expenses, and if he hadn't got his job back life could have been a bit exciting, looking for a change, or moving to the city. However I guess these things happen for a reason, and for now I'm happy just to stumble down this path my life is going down.

I haven't exercised at all since just before Christmas and I feel terrible physically and mentally, all that exercise was working wonders for my depression. My ears have finally cleared, but I guess I am going to have to swim with ear plugs in. Just need to get myself a swimming cap, a breast to knee swim suit and a rubber ducky floatation device and I will be all that!!
I'm looking forward to swimming and walking again, I cannot believe the difference it made to my mindset!

So it;s 11:20pm, on New Years Eve, I'm home alone, Craig has gone shark fishing (bless him, poor man couldn't catch a cold on a cold winters night!) my Step Mum offered to have my kids, but I'm pretty happy just to stay home. The kids are asleep so I'm just relaxing having the house to myself.
I'm taking the time to reflect on the things that happened this year, and this things that I would like to happen next year. There is not one large thing that sticks out to me this year that I feel I miserably failed at, but a few little niggly things that I will be working on. I want to get organised. I want a routine, even if it's just a semi routine. I was the TV to be off more, it only goes on in the evenings but still..... I want to lose weight, get fit, fall pregnant (all before Jan 7th when I get my mirena out, hopeful much you think?! Coming from someone who could win Miss pessimist of the year) I want to be less pessimistic, it's not a good quality, I don' t want to be the sort of person who drags everyone down around her.
I want to make more of my own things, and spend more time doing homely things.
I want to stop sweating the small stuff and spend more time with the kids. Someone I need to get it through my thick head that the housework CAN and SHOULD wait. They are only little once!
I want to be a more patient parent. I'm still selfish, I don't jump when my kids call out, I don't pander to their every whim and need. Of course I am there for them when they truly need me, but I want to be there just because they want me there.
I will stick to just turning the computer on in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed, and in fact I might implement another new rule, it doesn't come on until I have done a set amount of chores everynight, try and give myself some incentive to keep the house maintained.
I want to spend more time doing thigns that Craig wants to do. Golf, fishing, playing monopoly (I MUST stop being such a sore loser!) because he does things that *I* want to do, and I guess you have to sacrifice some things. What's a coupld hours of my time playing golf, at least we get to be together.
I want to get financially set. We get by at the moment, but never have much cash spare. I don't consider myself to be a materistic person by any means, I want a car that can carry the kids I want to have, and carry them safely, and I want a house that doesn't mean I have to have 6 kids in one bedroom. So next year my aim is to get our debt managed, purchase a Mitsubishi Delica, not because I like them by any means,but simply because I think it would be an all round practical vehicle that would allow us to go camping and fishing and woodcutting and all those things that are hard to do without a 4WD. I will also work hard at putting us in a better position so we can extend the house. We have thought long and hard about what we should do, as we live in a 2 bedtoom house in a rural area. We currently owe 72K on our house. We will probably be overcapitalising but a small price to pay I guess for a house that we will raise all our children in (so another 20 odd years I imagine at least we will spend in this house) and it will also mean we will still have, in comparison a small mortgage. It will mean we will have a huge 5 bedroom house, including 1 large main bedroom with ensuite :) I NEED a house that has two toilets, cos you can guarantee in this house the minute you go someone else always needs to go.

Anyway, that's enough for me, those are my goals and aims for 2008. Best of luck to everyone out there for the New Year, I hope it brings you peace, joy and love.

My daughter comes out with some of the funniest things.

Funny Thing #1
To set the scene Leeara is jumping up and down screaming because she is annoyed and has a wedgie. Mama gets cross and says "For goodness sake take the bloody things off then if they are going to keep giving you wedgies" (Bearing in mind this is wedgie number 437 for the day. Mama rethinks what she has said to her baby bear and decides she has been too harsh and tries to lighten the mood with "You must be getting all the wedgies because your bum is getting big!" to which baby bear replies "Yes Mummy, I'll have to start wearing YOUR undies now!"

Funny Thing #2
Mama has a friend over and is advising said friend not to have children for another 10-13 years so that my children can babysit hers and we can go out Leeara pipes up "I'll look after them, but I'm not going to breastfeed them!"

She is the funniest little thing!

Well both my kids are having a sleep, I've considered joining them, I shouldn't be on here wasting my precious time, there is dinner to cook, and a house to clean, and a book that I really want to read that isn't going to read itself.
Went for another walk yesterday, that's 5X exercise this week, AND a pretty good healthy diet. Go me!

Well I best get off here, or my entire times whilst the kids are sleeping will be wasted.

Still no news on C's job. Bloody bastards keeping us hanging like this.
The good news is I have exercised 5 times this week! have walked 3km's 4 times and swam once. We went swimming on Thursday night and I swam 43 laps! Which is 1.075 kms! I have also been making heaps better food choices and actually found some willpower somewhere! SO if anyone out there has lost some, don't worry I've found it, but I'm not giving it back!
DD is going through an interesting stage at the moment. She's very impatient with her brother and can be a bit mean to him sometimes, she doesn't realise that he doesn't understand he is being a pain in her bum. *sigh* I cant wait until he can talk and they start to verbally argue (yes that is pure sarcam there!)
Must go and cook tea, I have a friend coming over soon!

*sigh* DD is sick, she has a sore throat and a bark. DS is barking like a dog, and no matter what we do he is always falling over and banging his head. The kid constantly has bruises on his face and head :(

I'm stressed. C might not have a job in the next few weeks, if he is unemployed we are going to be in mega trouble. I really want to get some debt paid off, I'm dreading thinking about him losing his job :(

Ugh, when it rains it fucking pours. How is it sometimes we are cruising along nicely with money and then others we really have to tighten our purse strings. It sucks. We don't live what I would call a 'high life' so how are we just getting by sometimes?

So I did what I said I was going to do, I stayed off the computer all day. Because it was turned off the temptation wasn't as great. I turned it on at 7pm, although both the kids weren't quite in bed I'm quite happy with that effort still.

I got my photo proofs back from Clair, they are looking pretty good! http://www.clairbremner.com/marshall/index.html There are a few photos that don't look very good, but I'd say that had more to do with the person in the photo than the person taking it, man it doesn't take much to turn an oridnary looking person into an ugly one, especially when you have an extra 30KG's on your side. *sigh*

I had a doctors appt today, I've made an appt with a dietician, and my Dr. has suggest that I up the mettformin to 2 times a day and then gradually increase to 3 times a day. I really hope it helps me to lose weight, because I want to have another baby, but being so overweight is just not cool. Being pregnant is hard enough, I can't imagine how hard it would be on your body when you are seriously overweight.
I am going to try and stick to the weightwatchers program, take the mettformin and go back to the doctors in a months time and will have hopefully lost some weight. I think I am also going to go on the public waiting list for a lapband. I don't know that I entirely agree with them, but I do know that I am desperately unhappy in this body.

Note to self, stop drinking beer, just because you gave up the smokes doesn't mean you can drink more! When I drink I ramble... I mean type ramble...

It's funny the amount of stuff you can get done when you don't have the computer on. I tend to leave it on all day, and spend 10 minutes here and there, but sometimes those 10 minutes can lead up until an hour. A whole hour wasted reading shit on the internet on how to be a better parent. I spend more time in theory than I do doing the practical things that are being a great parent. So my new resolve is to turn the computer off each night before I go to bed (saves power too, so YAY so me conserving power AND saving money!) and the stupid ever distracting computer can stay off until my kids have gone to bed. I'm always just jumping on for a second, there is never really anything new, nothing livesaving, not REALLY that interesting, yet I find myself so distracted by the internet when there are soo man more constructive things I could be doing.
Nothing in life is more important than spending time with my kids, especially as our time together is so precious because I am working, yet I am still being selfish and doing the 'just for a few minutes' on the computer. I find myself saying 'Just a moment, hang on would ya, I'll be there in a minute' plus a number of other random sentences that my brain has put together when I am not concentrating on what my daughter is saying,
Plus in all honesty I find that when I am trying to divide my attention between the kids and the computer I get cranky and have heaps less patience, so not having it on during the day has go to have some benefits. I guess it's best to get out of the habit now too because when uni starts again next year, I want to be completely weaned off all internet distractions.